Random Generic AUish Parody Thingy
by CLAMP Doujinshi
Summary: A true collaboration. Really we have no idea how this will all end, but I can tell you one thing right now... it has no plot. So you should read it. Chapter order: Neko, Grimm, Kyki, Alex, Khairin, so on. COMPLETE WITH ANNOYING BETA NOTES. T for language.
1. Chapter Uno!

**_Random Generic AU-ish Parody.... CHAPTER UNO!_**

**B/N**

**This is a true collaberation fic. Neko has written this first chapter for us, and I (Grimm) am BETA-ing it for her. The next chapter will be written by me, BETA-ed by Kyki. The chapter after that will be written by Kyki, BETA-ed by Neko. After that will come Alex's chapter, BETA-ed by Kyki. Then Khairin's chapter, BETA-ed by me. The Neko again.**

**In short, we have no idea how this story will turn out, but I guess that's the plus side!**

**~Grimm (who did not write this chapter)**

**PS we're jam-packing it with annoying BETA notes. Whenever it's someone's turn to BETA, you'll hear a lot of what they think of the story. TRUST ME. You're going to get so annoyed by the BETAS and you'll want to hack into our website database and delete all of our stuff. But you can't. You know why?**

**CUZ NOBODY FRACKIN GOES TO THE WEBSITE ANYWAY, I NEVER UPDATE IT, SO THERE'S NOTHING FOR YOU TO DELETE!**

**And now it's time for the story.  
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There was a slight tremor in the force. The world had stopped and, against all odds, began spinning _backwards. _Then it stopped. A bird died. THe world began spinning forwards again as if nothing had happened... but that backwards spinning changed the world. It changed it from a world we could tolerate to a world that was so effed-up nobody would ever be able to understand it. Suburbs became ghetto. Pittsburgh became full of rude people. Small children actually bathed without complaining. _Twilight _stopped sucking. **B/N -- Neko doesn't like _Twilight._ Other members of the group don't agree with her on this. All views expressed in this chapter are not the views of the group, they are the views of Neko.** Only one thing could have messed up the world enough to do this. That's right, Neko/i like tea actually started writing something for the CD account. **B/N -- Because I threatened her.**

Of course, Watanuki made a big fuss. Why? Because that's all he's good at. And his big fuss did little to faze Domeki because Domeki is the emo heartthrob of this particular anime/manga and so he's never fazed.

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"Didn't you feel that?" Watanuki asked Domeki.

"No" was the gorgeous, sexy, totally-deserving-of-being-the-protagonist-this-modifier-is-making-Mr.-Balof-happy-yes-Mr.-Balof-reads-fanfiction-he's-just-that-

lame-not-that-our-readers-are-lame-but-he-reads-them-in-between-his-shifts-at-his-job-as-a-topless-bartender reply. **B/N -- You want to know who Mr. Balof is? Go google "Chicago gay bartenders" and "Bradly Balof". I kid you not, you will see pictures of mine and Neko's Language Arts student teacher in drag.**

"But I felt it!" Watanuki said helplessly. Aw, he's so lonely. DOMEKI, SAVE HIM!

"And I always feel everything you feel?" Domeki raised an eyebrow, the most expression he ever really showed.

"Oh yeah..." Watanuki mentally cursed himself for making himself look like a fool when compared to Domeki. Oh well, at least Himawari-chan wasn't here to witness this humiliation.

"Watnuki-kun! Domeki-kun!" Himawari shouted as she ran up to the loser and the hunk. Watanuki almost fell over. So she did hear him! This day pretty much sucked so far. At least it couldn't get any worse.

"All Students please report to the auditorium for a special announcement!" Came from the speaker, "Of course, we could just tell you what's going on, but we enjoy wasting yourf time too much. Wait, what do you mean this thing is still on? How do you turn it off?... Don't give me that attitude, you mother-" Watanuki, Domeki, and Himawari shrugged and went to the auditorium.

Once everyone was inside and seated, a young... dude, is that a woman or a man? WHatever, a young _something _stood in front of the students, and smirked.

"Hello, everyone," he, definitely a guy, said.

"Hello, assistant-principal Star," answered everyone. Yeah, Their assistant-principal is Jeffree Star. That's how fabulous the school was.

"I'm here with some bad news," assistant-principal Star said, "It seems that our principal is dead."

"I'm not dead!" Shouted up a British man with a heavy Liverpool accent. **B/N -- Oh she totally stole that from me! DIE NEKO! Um... carry on.**

"Shut up," retorted assistant-principal Star, "As I was saying, our principal is dead. And as your assistant principal, I should be the principal, but I'm too busy with my new album, available at stores everywhere, so I'm not gonna do it. Instead, say hello to Yuuko-sensei. She's your new principal and new overlord. And as payment, all I had to do as give her my soul. Isn't that a bargain?" **B/N -- Oh my frackin...**

Watnuki almost fell over. Again. "Why is Yuuko-san our principal? She has no teaching experience!" **B/N -- Or experience in anything.**

"Because I said so, bitch." assistant-principal Star said.

"But-" Watanuki stopped after Yuuko gave him her evilest glare yet. **B/N -- All she had to do was sing. Really.**

"Thank you, Jeffree-kun,"

"I prefer Jeffree-chan." Answered the queen of The Internet.

"Makes sense," said Yuuko. In the seats, our three heroes glanced at each other. Himawari turned to Watanuki, her eyes wide.

"Watanuki-kun?" she asked, looking adorable and moa. Watanuki fell over with hearts flying around his ears.

"Yes, Himawari-chan?"

"The chapter's gonna end soon, isn't it?" she asked. Watanuki got up and glared at the five authoresses staring down at them. Neko continued to write on their heads. Grimm plucked a few periods and exchanged them for commas. Khairin drooled over a picture of Syaoran. Alex looked at Watanuki and Domeki with a oh-my-gosh-they-are-the-perfect-pairing-I-so-know-what-I-am-doing-for-my-chapter look. Kyki danced around in Tohru cosplay while studying for her finals. Watanuki turned back to Himawari and said loud enough so that they could all hear him...

"Yeah. It's because our authoress is just a lazy little-"

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**A/N:**

**Please review!!!!**


	2. Chapter Deux!

**B/N:HI! It's Grimm's long time standing Beta, KYKI! Sorry if I haven't been updating my stuff, but I'll be on it ASAGPUNC! (As Soon As Grimm Puts Up the Next Chapter) Time to Beta Now! (Dances around in her MACHI (not Tohru. MACHI!) cosplay while reading a book)**

**_A/N: Machi is better than Tohru in all ways. -is murdered by fans of Tohru Honda- Sorry, sorry.... whatever you do, do not read the stories on my account._**

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Yuuko lay across the couch flipping through channels, while Mokona was sitting on her head looking kind of bored. "Mokona thinks that show looks interesting," Mokona said hopefully.** B/N: You have some problems with your COMMAs! **

Yuuko shook her head. "No, no, no. I've seen _Full House _way too many times."** B/N: But _Full House_ is AWESOME!**

"How about that one?"

"_Secret Life of the American Teenager_ was interesting for the first two episodes, but now it's just a soap opera." **B/N: How can two shows from the same channel be playing at the same time?**

"THAT ONE."

"YES." Yuuko glued her eyes to the TV, watching a little green alien and his dog/robot thing dancing around a kid with a really big head. Watanuki came in looking depressed, then creeped out as he saw what Yuuko was watching.

"You still watch cartoons, Yuuko-san?" he asked, skeptical. Yuuko didn't look away from the TV, but nodded. Watanuki rolled his eyes. "Invader Zim? Really?" Yuuko nodded again, then turned to him.

"You remind me of…DIB! Because your head is misshapen, plus you're annoying and technical."

"SAY WHAT?!" Watanuki fumed.

Mokona jumped up and down. "WATA-CHUU IS DIIIB! WATA-CHUU IS DIIIIIIIB! DIB DIB DIB!"

"SHUT UP MONJU BUN!" Watanuki grabbed Mokona and threw him/her against the wall. (No animals were harmed in the writing of this chapter. Mokona is bouncy. **B/N: Yes, yes he is.**) He then sat down and groaned loudly. Yuuko turned off the TV.

"Something happen at school, dear?" she asked, stroking his head. He gave her a look.

He gave her a look. "What are you up to?"

"What are you talking about, sweetheart?" she asked, looking worried. **B/N: AH! SHE'S BEING NICE!!!**

"You're never nice to me."

"Oh. You're right." Yuuko burst out laughing and slapped Kimihiro on the back. "Anyway, what's wrong? If you're sad, then the food will be bad…."

"ARGH!"

"No, seriously," Yuuko said, trying not to laugh again. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?!" Watanuki slammed his fist on the table. "DOUMEKI MAKES ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT, HIMAWARI DOESN'T THINK OF ME AS ANYTHING, AND THE PERSON WHO'S WRITING THIS IS A TOTAL IDIOT AND…" Watanuki disappeared in a puff of smoke. Yuuko looked up at the four authoresses.

"Oh, the CLAMP Doujinshi team. What happened?" Yuuko asked. The blonde answered.

"He was making me kind of mad, and it's my turn to write this chapter, so… consequences." Grimm said. Yuuko nodded. **B/N: He was being a meany head, but then again, you made him that way!**

"Nice one." Yuuko held up one hand and asked, "Can I please have some sake?" Khairin grabbed some sake and handed it down to Yuuko. "Domo Arigato Gozaimasu." She said, sipping the drink. "So what happened at school with Wata-kun?" Neko got up and started to explain.

"The principal died…" a voice came from the back room.

"I'M NOT DEAD IF I'M ALIVE, NOW!"

"Shut up, Paul. Anyway," Neko continued. "The principal died at Wata-pii's school and the new principal is a terrible woman named Yoko Ono…" Yuuko nodded.

"Well, does this Yoko Ono have any accomplishments?" she asked. Neko shrugged.

"Yeah, she invented Screamo, technically." In the background Grimm and Kyki started singing the Screamo version of Soulja Boy. **B/N: YEAH!**

"SOULJA BOY I BEND IT!"

"OH!"

"WATCH ME LOSE IT!"

"LOSE FRACKIN CONTROL!"

"SHUT UP!" Alex shouted. She then turned back to the computer. "I'm trying to write a poem about Tsubasa…." she said, then turning to glare at Khairin. "AND NEXT IM WRITING A WATANUKI X DOUMEKI FANFICTION!" Khairin screamed.

"HIMAWARI X WATANUKI!

"NO! DOUMEKI X WATANUKI!" the continued arguing about _xxxHolic_ pairings. Yuuko picked up her ear plugs and went to sleep.

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**B/N: My turn next! MY TURN NEXT! YEP YEP!**

**_A/N: Yes. Then I get to mess up... eh heh heh... I mean BETA your chapter. I hope you all enjoyed my pitiful chapter! Next up is Kyki! ~Grimm_**


	3. Chapter Tri!

**A/N: I've been putting this off., but to annoy you more, I tell you about my SATURDAY! My counterpart and best friend Kyji-chan lives in another state, so last Saturday, my dad took me to her house so we can see each other. Kyji and I went to the mall and spent about an hour in the manga section. Guess what we found! _Chibi Vampire_ volume 12! It's not supposed to come out for a few more weeks! Then we went to Clare's and I got new earrings and a pair of necklaces! Each necklace has either a yang or ying sign on it. I kept the yang one (black), and I gave Kyji the ying (white). Now let's get onto the story!**

**B/N: Hey, Grimm here, acting as BETA. Kyki, that was unecessary and very annoying. GOOD JOB! (Seriously? Chibi Vampire vol 12 came out?! NO SHIT I NEED TO GO GET IT!)**

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Yuuko chuckled. She giggled. She muffled her laughter. She couldn't take it anymore.

"OH MY FRACKING TOES HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The entire room filled with her really, really loud laughter. Her headphones were stuck in her ears and her eyes were glued to the screen of the laptop. Larg hopped over.

"Mokona wants to laugh too! Mokona wants to hear!" the black manju-bun said, trying to fit under the headphones along with Yuuko. **B/N: Are these by any chance the persocom headphones?**

"What are you laughing about?" asked Watanuki, who was in the middle of cleaning... some spiritual-looking thing... OH HEY IT'S THE CARDCAPTOR'S WAND! He was cleaning the cardcaptor wand.

"Won't you like to know?" said Yuuko, looking over at him, trying not to laugh. Watanuki knew that couldn't be good... he raced over and looked over her shoulder. The video was labeled "Wacky Watanuki". Watanuki's face turned white, which made Yuuko laugh harder. She pulled out the headphones and turned the volume up all the way.

"She says she's no good with words but I'm worse. Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue. Weighed down with words too overdramatic. Tonight it's "it can't get much worse" vs. "no one should ever feel like..."" sung the laptop as pictures of Yuuko and Watanuki ran across it. Mokona fell down in a fit of laughter.

"WATANKI LIKES YUUKO! WATA-CHUU LOVES YUKKO!!" Mokona shouted.

"I DO NOT!" screamed Watanuki, "WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS ANYWAYS!" suddenly the camera switched to something in the corner labeled "big moter" and a girl with a laptop rose up out of the ground on a twirling platform. No, it was not Renge. **B/N: It's much worse than Renge. **It was...

"BUT I LOVE THIS SONG!" screamed Kyki. "It was either that or Yuuko finding fanfiction!" **B/N: There is a frightening number of Yuuko x Wata fanfictions... fortunately, there are more Domeki x Wata fanfictions, and almost no Himawari x Wata fanfictions.... haha Khairin. You're alone in your quest for HimaWata!** Kyki typed in fast some more words. **B/N: To clear things up, Kyki is on Youtube looking at random AMVs.** "But this one is my fav!" Suddenly, the "Ding Song Song" started playing. Watanuki twitched.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" he exclaimed. Kyki glared at him over the computer screen.

"THIS ISN'T AN AMV ABOUT YOU, BRAT!" she screamed. Grimm floated down on a cloud and landed behind her.

"A Kyo/Yuki huh? Pretty cracky," she said. **B/N: No it isn't. Kyki, you failed me. **

"Oh I more cracky stuff then this!" Kyki and Grimm then started finding all sorts of crack videos.

"Okay! THIS IS INSANE!" screamed Watanuki.

"You're telling us,' Neko said calmly.

"WATANUKI X DOUMEKI!" screamed Alex as she pulled Khairin's hair.

"HIMAWARI X WATANUKI!" screamed Khairin as she threatened Alex with a knife. **B/N: roflmao. You know what? It's sad that these two haven't met yet. It will be very entertaining to see them talk to each other. ALEX, KHAIRIN, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU NEED TO FIND EACH OTHER ON CHATANGO RIGHT NOW AND BATTLE IT OUT! It will be hilarious...**

"NEVER!" shouted Alex pulling out a chainsaw. Yuuko was asleep on the sofa.... these random author appearances bored her.

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**A/N: Now I'm listening to crack videos. I'm addicted. DON"T MAKE FUN OF ME! (hides in corner)**

**B/N: I saw a Tomoyo-hime x Syaoran video the other day. Not Tomoyo Daidouji x Syaoran Li, TOMOYO-HIME x Syaoran. Now THAT is crack. -goes to Youtube- Good idea, Kyki. I need my crack fix... I sound like a stoner...**


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